When many of us first step into leadership roles, we assume the hard part will be deciding. In reality, the harder part is responding—especially in the moment, when emotions are high, deadlines are tight, and people are looking at us for answers.
Each of us naturally leans towards a certain leadership style. Some of us like clarity, structure, and direction. Some of us instinctively trust, delegate, and step back. Neither is wrong. The problem begins when we forget that the same person may need different styles at different moments, and our default response takes over before our thinking does.
Over time, many of us realise this: we don’t always need the right answer immediately. What we often need is time—to understand, to assess, and to choose the right leadership response.
Here are five simple sentences that help us pause, reflect, and respond better—almost regardless of the situation.
1. “How can I help you move this forward?”
The situation:
A team member comes with a problem. Our instinct is to solve it, redirect it, or assign it to someone else.
What we often say:
“Talk to David, he has the data.”
“Follow the same approach we used last time.”
What we can say instead:
“How can I help you move this forward?”
Why this works:
This question shifts us from directive to supportive without giving up authority. It helps us understand whether the person needs clarity, resources, a decision, or simply reassurance—before we jump into action.
2. “I’ve understood what you’re saying. Let me think this through.”
The situation:
Someone brings a complaint, a concern, or a conflict involving another person or team.
What we often feel pressured to do:
Take a position immediately. Promise action. Pick a side.
What we can say instead:
“I’ve understood what you’re saying. Let me think this through.”
Why this works:
This sentence acknowledges the person without committing us prematurely. It creates space—for verification, context, and calmer decision-making—especially in emotionally charged situations.
3. “What would success look like from your side?”
The situation:
A task is assigned, but expectations are fuzzy—or misaligned.
What we often assume:
They know what we mean.
They’ll figure it out.
What we can say instead:
“What would success look like from your side?”
Why this works:
This surfaces assumptions early. It helps us see whether alignment already exists—or whether we need to step in with more clarity or support.
4. “What options have you considered so far?”
The situation:
A team member comes to us with a question or a roadblock.
What we sometimes worry about:
“Do they expect me to think for them?”
“Are they stuck or just unsure?”
What we can say instead:
“What options have you considered so far?”
Why this works:
This keeps ownership where it belongs, while still staying available. It allows us to coach rather than command, and to gauge competence without undermining confidence.
5. “What do you need from me right now?”
The situation:
Everything feels urgent. Everyone wants attention. We’re juggling priorities.
What we’re tempted to do:
Default to control. Default to delegation. Default to silence.
What we can say instead:
“What do you need from me right now?”
Why this works:
This single sentence helps us choose the right leadership style for the moment—direction, support, decision-making, or space—without guessing.
A closing thought
Leadership isn’t about always being authoritative or always being empowering. It’s about knowing when to be which. These five sentences don’t solve problems by themselves—but they buy us something invaluable as leaders: time to think before we act.
And sometimes, that pause makes all the difference.